Washroom for Customers Only

So I was walking the streets of Toronto the other day and something happened which got me to  thinking…

Here’s the story:

I had just finished off my second Venti Bold Sumatra from Starbucks and was in desperate need of a washroom. I had to go bad.

I found another coffee shop, which I won’t name, but it rhymes with “Jim Morton’s”

I rushed to the washroom, only to find it locked. I looked up to see that all too familiar sign.

The sign read, “Washroom for Customers Only – Key Required”

As I approached the counter, eager to get the “required key” to gain entry into the Men’s washroom, the girl at the counter did her best to totally ignore me. Why -because I wasn’t buying anything? In her eyes I was not a customer and, therefore, wouldn’t be allowed to use the washroom.

The washroom was for customers only.

I used the washroom anyway.  While I was waiting for a few nanoseconds of attention from the girl at the counter, someone was exiting the washroom and I seized the opportunity. I was able to catch my foot in the door before it shut. No key required.

Here’s the problem…

I felt a lot better after relieving myself, but something really bothered me about the situation.

I’m a Jim Morton’s customer. I’ve given Jim thousands and thousands of dollars during my 29  years on this planet. I simply wasn’t a customer on that specific day.

I’m a Subway customer too, but on various occasions, I don’t need another $5 dollar footlong (meatball), I just need the washroom.

Does the lack of purchase at this specific moment disqualify me as a customer?

If so, why should I ever return? You expect my patronage and I expect you to be there for me when my bladder might explode.

But you weren’t there for me. The deal is broken or maybe it never existed to begin with.

My proposal – The Customer Loyalty Washroom Pass

Each time I’m a customer, I get a point, which gets automatically updated in an on-line database.

You give me a  little gadget, which I attach  to my keychain, and it allows me to access any washroom at any Jim Morton’s anywhere, at any time,  no questions asked. Provided of course, I have enough points. If not, tough luck for me, I need to buy something.

On any specific  day,  if I  buy a coffee, and  use the washroom during that visit, we’re even. If I come in and purchase a coffee, but don’t use the washroom, I get a point for a future visit to the washroom.

If I use the drive-thru, I’m owed one trip to the washroom without purchase.

I think this could work…