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Lost in the Woods

June 1, 2010 in Misc, Success with 1 Comment

Have you ever been following a path in the woods only to lose your way and become unable to see the path? You look this way and then another. They both look and resemble a path and you’re not really sure which way to go.

You were on the path a few minutes ago, it was as clear as day. And now, you’re alone and lost in the woods.

Everything was going smoothly and the tracks of others before you had left a clear-cut path you could follow. Suddenly, it’s not so clear anymore.

This way looks like the path…That way looks like the path…

This is the moment where you’ve got to make a decision.

1) You could take a wild guess and continue on without really thinking about it.

2) You could re-trace your steps, moving backwards, and try to find out where or what went wrong.

3) You could give up, sit down, and avoid making any type of decision at all. This is what your lizard brain would prefer.

Of course, there’s always another option. Sometimes I think this one is the best because, quite frankly, paths are never as clear-cut as we want them to be.

You could rely on the tools you already possess to guide you.

If you have a compass, and if you know you should be headed north, go north.

You might recall a prior learning experience. Maybe it was something you read in a book. Maybe it was something a great teacher once taught you. Recall the training you already possess to guide your decision.

You might trust your gut instinct that is pushing you towards a certain direction

Many times by using the tools we have, such as past learning experiences, or raw gut instinct, we often end up making the right decision. It’s when we keep pushing through and go a little further, we find ourselfs back on the right path. Suddenly, we’re back on track.

Or you could fail miserably. You could make the wrong choice all together. You could spend hours heading the wrong way only to realize you made the wrong decision.You might have to turn around and come back. You might not even make it out alive, so to speak. You’ve  experienced total failure. The tools didn’t perform at the moment they were needed most. The thing your teacher taught you, or you read in a book, turned out to be wrong. Your gut instinct was wrong.

But at least you tried. That’s what matters.

The False Start

May 25, 2010 in Getting Things Done, Success, Time & Money with 3 Comments

Maybe I’m being a bit naive. After all, I’m only 29 years old. However, I’m a firm believer that there’s a difference between “taking action” and “real action.”

People will spend months reading, writing, preparing, assembling, designing, planning, tweaking, changing, editing, fixing, upgrading, testing, prototyping, meeting etc etc.

We often hear that the key to success is taking action.

They do all of this, but they never actually ship. I’m guilty of that. I’ve done that. I’ve lost the battle many times. The practice of taking action becomes a form of real and intense procrastination.

Some say the hardest part is starting; and many will argue that if we’re engaged in the steps above, we’ve already won the hardest part of the battle because we’ve started. Action has been taken.

Sometimes, I’d agree. When I procrastinate starting a Crossfit workout, it’s because of the intense pain I know I’ll experience shortly. But when I start, I know I’ll finish.

The opposite is the false start. It’s the feeling of accomplishment that we’ve actually started! We believe we’re taking strides in the right direction.

It’s a lot like signing up for a gym membership and never going.

It’s the endless pursuit of perfection without actually ever shipping your product out the door.

It’s like saying you want to start a blog, and you move forward by spending months researching how to actually do it. If you just start, it can be done in seconds and you can learn as you go.

The false start is a lot like the hamster in a cage. The wheel is spinning, but the hamster isn’t going anywhere.

What YOU need to figure out is, have you’ve actually started, or are you just spinning your wheels?

P.S. June 14th is Linchpin Day worldwide! On June 14th, in hundreds (maybe thousands) of cities Worldwide, Linchpins will unite.

What is Linchpin Day? Read this..

Are you a Linchpin?

I’ll be organizing a local linchpin meetup in Windsor/Essex County. You can find details here.

If you’re interested in attending and meeting up, please mark a spot on the list. I’ll be blogging more about this over the next couple of weeks.

You’re not even in the game.

May 19, 2010 in Fun Stuff, Life, Linchpin, Success with 3 Comments

“It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.” ~ Grantland Rice

Remember that quote? I hate it. It’s not about winning or losing, it’s how we play the game. Hmm….

The reason I don’t like the quote is that most of the time we’re not even in the game to begin with.

When we skip a workout or we have the extra pizza, even though we’re trying to lose weight or get healthier, we’re not in the game.

When we say we want to start a blog, but don’t make the effort to write a few words, we’re not in the game.

When we talk about being unhappy in our current situation and make statements like “someday, I’m going to do things my way,” we’re not really in the game.

The list goes on and on…. We might say we’re in a lull. Perhaps we’d compare it to the seventh inning stretch. Wrong. You’re still outside the stadium looking for a ticket.

SO here’s how you play the game.

You jump right in and play to win. You put on your best equipment and give it all you’ve got.

Even if you’re writing a blog post about the game, at least you’re competing. :-)

When you start the workout, even though it hurts like hell and there’s an extreme amount of short term pain, congrats – we’ve got a game.

Sticking to your diet and fighting the temptations, or avoiding the smoke when you’re trying to quit; howdy, glad you showed up to the game.

I’m fascinated by the idea of the resistance and the lizard brain, because that’s the competition. They know that half the time you won’t even show up, but when you do, it’s game time!

And now what? Half the time the resistance wins! For some of us, the resistance is kicking our asses every single game. But you know what, we never just throw the game and let them win. It’s all about how we play it.

Get in the game.

Edit:

“It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s if you show up and play.” ~ Noah Fleming

Drudging Along

May 13, 2010 in Life, Success, Time & Money with 0 Comments

I got to thinking about this post, as I was fly fishing north of Toronto a few weeks ago. I was drudging through muddy waters trying to make my way upstream. It was a constant battle to keep moving forward.

Have you ever actually sat down and thought about what your life will look like five years from now?

Every self-help book or “how to make more money” book I’ve ever read suggests that you start with the endpoint in mind. They all say the exact same thing.

Set your goals and have an endpoint in mind. Take action and work towards that goal. They call it the secret.

But how many of us actually do it? I’d be willing to bet not very many. Yet how many people are unhappy with their current situation? I’d be willing to bet a lot.

I talk a lot about drudging through the work week because, quite frankly, we all know a lot of people who are just drudge along.

We all know people who aren’t excited about Monday’s. We all know people who hate their J.O.Bs (just over broke)

Yet they drudge on.

But where are they drudging to? Back in the river, as I worked my way upstream, I could really see no end in sight. It was a constant battle, and I was barely making any progress.

I have a feeling most people don’t do this exercise because most people assume they’ll be doing the exact same thing in five years they’re doing now.

Or, I’m guessing that people do the exercise halfheartedly and make up ridiculous life scenarios. They say things like “In five years, I’ll be sipping a drink in front of my beach hut in Thailand living off Lottery winnings.”

Here’s my suggestion:

Actually do the exercise and be honest about it. Map out your ideal life. Don’t be afraid to even map out what you would consider a perfect life.

What will you be doing for a living?

What will your family look like?

Where will you be living?

What new hobbies will you have?

Be as detailed as you want, but also be honest and realistic.

I’ll make a confession. I did the exercise a while back. I even wrote down the nitty-gritty details, like the size of our house and the color of our front door. I wrote about the relationships I would have with friends and family. I talked about my non-existent dream dog. I wrote down what I would do in my spare time.

The point I want to stress is that if you can look at a blank slate, and all you can muster up is endlessly drudging along for the next five years, you can bet you’ll still be drudging and get pretty damn good at it.

And maybe you’re happy with your current life, but I still don’t think that exempts you from the exercise. Maybe your dream is to drudge along because of the shiny golden years of retirement that await. That’s fine. I’m not discounting that, but you still need a script.

We all have a chance to write our own script. Sure, things will change and be updated along the way, but without a script or a story to begin with, nothing’s going to change.

You can be guaranteed of that.

Comfort Challenge Update – Only You Can Decide – Thanks Carlotta

April 30, 2010 in Business, Linchpin, Success, Thinking Outside The Box with 0 Comments

How’d you make out with last week’s comfort challenge from “The 4-Hour Work Week“?

For myself, I found I was certainly much more aware of what my eyes were doing while engaged in conversation. As for using the technique with total strangers, that was much harder. Like Tim mentioned, you don’t want to look like a psychopath and get your ass kicked!

After posting last week’s comfort challenge and explaining I would share Tim’s comfort challenges each Friday, someone posted a comment and suggested it was a little bit of a cop-out.

Carlotta’s reasoning was that she had already read Tim’s book and that she’d like to see some new, creative, and relevant comfort challenges created. She suggested it would be a great opportunity for people to accomplish something new.

The more I thought about the comment, the more I agreed with what she was saying. She was right. After all, it’s Friday and what a simple way to end a week of blog posts.

But then my thoughts continued on the subject….

I started to think about coming up with my own, and I started to think more about Tim’s comfort challenges in his book. Some of which are extremely unique and uncomfortable by the way.

Here’s what I decided:

It doesn’t matter what the comfort challenge is.

It doesn’t matter who created the comfort challenge.

It doesn’t matter if it’s relevant or not.

Here’s what matters:

What matters is that you take these opportunities to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. It honestly doesn’t matter what it is as long as it feels scary.

You need to treat your levels of comfort like a muscle that needs a good kick-ass work out. If you never exercise your muscles, they will become weak and they’ll never get strong.

Regardless of what I post on Friday, and whether it comes from Tim’s book or I make up a handful of challenges, you need to take charge and do something uncomfortable. It needs to be something that raises your heart rate. Something that scares you. Something that is HARD to do.

I do believe that if you give it some thought over the weekend, you’ll start to see the areas where your muscles need work.

Carlotta was right on so many levels, and I can’t thank her enough. Maybe you’re already strong in the area of eye-contact. Maybe that doesn’t make you feel queasy or scared or nervous? If that’s the case, then you need a comfort challenge more relevant to YOU.

It sounds easy – right?

Once a week, over the weekend, daily, whatever; if you’re willing to put yourself through pain and discomfort on a regular basis, you’ll start to see some amazing results.

The fact is, most people won’t ever put themselves through the training and exercise required to strengthen those muscles.

We’re a society that enjoys the benefits of comfort without the effort.

For example, many like to think they can achieve their desired levels of exercise and fitness by only using the Nintendo Wii – a perfect example of comfort without the effort.

It’s far scarier and more uncomfortable to think you might actually need to sweat and raise your heart rate. You may even need to avoid that pizza tonight.

Pain is the enemy for most, and it’s usually avoided at all cost.

So with that said, good luck with your comfort challenge this weekend, and only you can decide when you are out of your comfort zone.

Is TV making you dumb?

April 28, 2010 in Life, Success, Time & Money with 6 Comments

Back in December, my wife and I made a decision to turn our TV off and stop watching it. We went cold-turkey.

580155_tv.jpg

When making this decision, we also agreed upon a few guidelines.

  1. A movie on Friday or Saturday night was perfectly acceptable.
  2. The Olympics, of course, were exempt from all rules. Canada crushed it.
  3. If one of us wanted to watch TV, that was fine. We wouldn’t judge each other.

    We weren’t creating the ten commandments of the Fleming Household, instead we just decided that there were other things we’d rather be doing with our limited free-time.

It’s now almost May, and I’m pleased to say that we haven’t watched TV since before Christmas of 2009.

So here’s a little about my experience living without television.

I’ve read close to 40 books since mid December. I used to say I didn’t have time to read. That was an excuse. I have gained more amazing and applicable business knowledge in the past four months than many people gain over the course of a year or two, or maybe more.

I believe an investment in myself and my own knowledge will rival that of a paid MBA degree over the course of a year.

I’ve blogged nearly 5-days a week since February.

I’ve blogged about  New York Times’ (NYT)  best-selling books like ReWork, and my review has even been included on their official reviews page.

I’ve been sent free, advanced copies of killer unreleased books, that will no doubt be on the NYT best seller list, for  my review on this blog.

I used to say I didn’t have time to blog.

My wife and I go for nice long walks each night. We used to forgo the walk to catch the latest episode of obese people trying to lose weight.

How ironic. We were watching severely overweight people in a desperate life-or-death struggle to lose weight caused by a static and sedentary lifestyle in the first place, the exact same activity we were engaging in while viewing.

Anyways, I’m not going to be preach to you about watching TV versus not watching TV, even though new research shows that TV not only causes ADD, but also increases the risk of mental health problems.

However, I do want to say this about the subject:

If you’re spending long drawn out days doing something you don’t absolutely friggin love, then why are you spending the little time you do have investing your energy into an activity that requires literally zero brain function?

TV requires the single simple skill of processing images and not much more. Most TV shows are created so we don’t need to think. It’s a sedentary activity that basically lulls your brain into a coma-like state.

Very basic memory and concentration skills are required to watch and understand TV shows, regardless of how smart and challenging we want to believe some new shows are.

I’m just saying… You’ve got a great brain that wants to be challenged and engaged and you’re doing it a disservice by plopping down on the sofa for four hours each night.

It’s begging you for the opportunity to grow!

It wants to try new things!

It wants to learn new hobbies!

It wants to read and be challenged to think!

It wants to expand the potential and possibilities of your life!

And deep down, it hates just sitting around and being sedated.

My suggestion is to choose wisely both where and how you invest the small amounts of free time you have. Your brain will thank you in so many ways.

Big balls. Comfort Challenge #1

April 23, 2010 in Business, Linchpin, Success, Thinking Outside The Box with 4 Comments

Don’t leave just yet ladies… This one is for you too.

This post was inspired by two of my favorite books that I’ve referenced quite a bit over the years, “Ballsy – 99 ways to grow a bigger pair and score extreme business success” by Karen Salmonson and “The 4-Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferris.

Karen’s first tidbit of advice in the book is that “more important than having talent, you need balls.””

Let’s dive into this a bit deeper, shall we?

We all know that talent matters, nobody is suggesting otherwise. The newborn that enters the world and is playing Mozart at two years old has talent, god-given talent, some would argue.

But what about the rest of us? We all have talent and without balls, the talent means nothing.

For me, I do believe that I’m talented, but I think I could benefit from bigger balls.

So how do we do it?

How do we go about growing a bigger pair?

For this, I’m going to refer to Tim and The 4-hour Work Week.

Tim recognized that many of us have talent but lack the self-confidence to do what it takes to become mega successful.

Tim wants to help us break away from our comfort zones which is something I’ve talked about before.

So how does Tim suggest we grow a bigger set of balls?

He believes we need to train ourselves to become more comfortable with risk and step out of our comfort zones. Tim has provided a collection of “comfort challenges” to help with the process.

Tim is straightforward and honest in letting us know that comfort challenges look simple, but they’re extremely uncomfortable for most people.

However, by practicing the art of being uncomfortable and attempting things outside your comfort zone, you’re actually growing yourself the “bigger pair” which is an absolute essential ingredient to your success.

So here’s my proposal, and I hope you’ll play along with me.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to go through Tim’s comfort challenges. Each Friday, I’ll post a new comfort challenge for you to work on over the weekend.

I’d love for you to join me. If you don’t want to take part, no problem.

My advice is to  just do it. Have some fun with me, and let me know how the challenges affect you.

Ready to go? Yup, we start today.

These are Tim’s “comfort challenges” and if you already have a copy of Tim’s book, you can follow along. If not, I’ll be sharing a new challenge every week or so.

Buy Tim’s book if you don’t have it. It can change your life.

Comfort Challenge #1

From The 4-Hour Work Week*

Learn to Eye Gaze (2 days)
My friend Michael Ellsberg invented a singles event called Eye Gazing. It is similar to speed dating but different in one fundamental respect—no speaking is permitted. It involves gazing into the eyes of each partner for three minutes at a time. If you go to such an event, it becomes clear how uncomfortable most people are doing this.

For the next two days, practice gazing into the eyes of others—whether people you pass on the street or conversational partners—until they break contact.

Hints:

1. Focus on one eye and be sure to blink occasionally so you don’t look like a psychopath or get your ass kicked.
2. In conversation, maintain eye contact when you are speaking. It’s easy to do while listening.
3. Practice with people bigger or more confident than yourself. If a passerby asks you what the hell you’re staring at, just smile and respond, “Sorry about that. I thought you were an old friend of mine.”

Simple right? It may be a heck of a lot harder than it sounds?

Feel free to share your results and comments, if you’d like.

Good luck and have a great weekend!

Noah

Why Blog?

April 13, 2010 in Linchpin, Misc, Success with 4 Comments

Since January or so, I’ve made a conscious decision to blog more often. I’ve had this blog since 2006 and sometimes would go four or five months without making a single entry.

I gained much motivation from my father-in-law who writes an excellent blog called Quoteflections.com. He started his blog around the beginning of 2008 and has not missed a single day. In fact, he’s occasionally blogged more than once a day.

In 2008, he blogged 370 times. In 2009, he blogged 378 times. In 2010, he’s already blogged 115 times. His slow and un-rushed process has earned him a steady group of followers in his tribe.

In January I ramped up to blogging every few days.

In February I started blogging three times a week.

In March I started blogging every day, Monday to Friday, with a goal of writing around 500 words per day.

Occasionally,  I’ll miss a few days if I’ve gone away, but I’m pretty much hitting my target.

It’s not always as easy as it looks, and the frequency of posting really has nothing to do with the quality of a blog.

Sometimes I have nothing to say.

Sometimes I need motivation.

Sometimes I go looking for inspiration.

Sometimes it’s a pain in the ass, but I do it anyway.

A friend of mine asked today, “Do you get anything out of blogging beyond self-fulfillment? I don’t see any ads on your website.”

Here’s why I’m doing it and what I’m getting out of it.

First, Gavin was right. There are no ads on my blog. I don’t make any money directly from blogging.

The blog acts as a tool for me to express myself and my ideas. That’s it in a nutshell. If people want to read it, I’m honoured, but I’ll keep writing it regardless of traffic stats. If my blog triggers any type of positive response in a single person, then I’ve achieved something. I’m proud of that.

This is a slow and steady race.

I have no motivation to rush here as that won’t get me anywhere.

The blog is also my resume and personal branding tool. I don’t have a resume nor am I looking for a job. If you want to learn about me, or work with me, it’s all here.

When you go looking for a job, you can be sure your potential employers are “googling” you. Why not be in control of what they see?

Ever written or kept a journal? Same idea. This blog is allowing my thoughts and opinions to develop and my voice to gain volume. It’s an extremely gratifying part of my daily routine.

Since setting up my blog to syndicate all my posts on Facebook, I’ve heard from friends who never really had a clue what I was up to,  and now many are reading and digging what I have to say. That makes it worthwhile.

I was told by one friend that my posts were some of the driving motivation for her to start her own first  business. That’s a little like dumping fuel on a fire.

I encourage you to start your own blog. After Gavin and I talked about it, he mentioned, “500 words a day keeps the doctor away!” It’s so true.

If you need help or advice on starting your own blog, shoot me an email and I’ll be happy to offer some assistance.

Positive Thinking = Good Things Magnet?

April 9, 2010 in Life, Success with 2 Comments

How many of you know someone that’s totally over optimistic about everything in life?

Everything is always great! They’re always smiling and, sometimes, when things aren’t going our way, they are still smiling, and thus we want to just rip that silly grin right off their face! STOP SMILING!

Compare that to the opposite type of person. The person who’s always thinking about the worst-case scenario. The person who’s always thinking that the world is working against them to ensure they live miserably. I know far too many people who live with this type of mentality.

Of course, we’ve also got ordinary everyday people who sit somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.

The other day, I was flying home from Augusta, GA and I read a story about Cynthia Stafford.

Cynthia believed deeply in the law of attraction. The idea behind the law of attraction is that our thoughts and desires actually influence our lives and the world we live in. Through our thoughts, it’s believed that we can manifest and create the world in which we live.

If you believe you’re going to be successful, there’s a good chance you will be.

If you believe you’re going to end up broke and unhappy, well, chances are you’ll end up broke and unhappy.

Most people believe the concept to be rather hokey. Others, like Tony Robbins, believe that our lives are almost entirely governed by our attitudes and the law of attraction.

Cynthia’s story takes it to the extreme though.

Cynthia was a single mother of five. She became a strong believer of the law of attraction. She wholeheartedly believed that she could manifest her ideal life.

She started to visualize winning the lottery… Who doesn’t, right?
OK, bear with me – It’s a crazy story.

She actually started to visualize winning a very specific amount of money. The number was $112 Million Dollars. The number just kept popping into her head. She wrote the number down. She meditated on the number. She focused on the number. She believed in the number. She thought about what she would do with the money.

She became obsessed with it. For over four months, it dominated her thoughts.

On May 2007, Cynthia won the Mega Millions lottery. The amount?

Exactly  $112 million dollars.

The reason for the article was that Cynthia has given away a considerable amount of her winnings, far more than most lottery winners ever give away. She’s been donating large sums of money left and right to people and organizations in need.

I’m not saying that if you focus on winning the lottery for months, you’re going to win millions of dollars; but if you’re always focusing on the negative things going on in your life and always believing things are going to end negatively, it’s going to be that much harder to get ahead.

Optimism and positive thinking have never been overrated.

Finding your “thing”

April 8, 2010 in Entrepreneurship, Life, Success with 5 Comments

I’m 29 years old, and I’m not sure I’ve found my “thing” yet.

I write this blog, I consult with businesses, and  I help them make more money. I show businesses how to use the internet to grow their business and make more money. I do a little of this and a bit of that.

However, I’m not sure I’ve found the “thing” yet.

You know the “thing” right? The “thing” that wakes you up every morning with a burning desire to go out there and get-em. You’ve got it right?

If you go to bed Sunday night and simply can’t wait for the five days ahead, then you’ve found your “thing.”

I was never able to say in my earlier years, “this is what I want to do when I grow up.”

Here I am all grown up, and I still can’t say exactly what that is.

Guidance counselors, teachers, and peers used to make me feel like this was inadequate. After all, most people had it all figured out. They would go off and become teachers, police officer, accountants, advertisers, bankers, restaurant managers etc…

I remember being told that eventually you just had to “decide and pick something.”

I’ve never been able to “just decide and pick” my life, and it used to scare the pants off me.

The nice thing is that I’m not bothered by it anymore.

It used to scare me that I couldn’t just decide.

It used to scare me how easily I could jump between hobbies and try new things.

It used to scare me how I could so easily attempt new business ventures by moving from one extreme to another.

But it doesn’t scare me anymore. It excites me now.

It excites me because I’ve learned that I don’t need to be looking for the “thing.”

What excites me about it isn’t that I can’t settle down,  I’m excited because there is something not allowing me to settle down.

Am I looking for a “thing” or is some-”thing” looking for me?

Either way, in my mind, it’s way more exciting than the alternative.

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