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I might be on to something…

Ever have that feeling that you might be on to something?

You might be right, but how do you really know?

There’s a simple way to tell if you actually are “on to something.”

Does it (that something) scare you?

Does it keep you up on night?

Does it cause you to procrastinate and not do it?

When your mind kicks in and works to keep you from doing it, you can be assured, you’re probably on to something.

Funny right? You’d think our minds would jump right in and support us in our endevours and the crazy ideas we have in the shower. You’d think that our brains would want us to take those ideas and make them a reality! You’d think your mind would be pushing you to do everything it could to achieve success, and push you beyond your comfort zone.

But the opposite is what happens, and that’s what Stephen Pressfield refers to as the resistance.

When the resistances pops up, and starts resisting – you’re right… you’re on to something.

Do that.

I wonder what others might think?

Why do we wonder, care, and worry so much about what others might think of our actions?

We get so caught up in what others think about our decision to start a new business; or leave our current job for a new one; or why we bought a Toyota instead of a Honda, etc. etc…

It was Dale Carnegie who said, “I realize now that people are not thinking about you and me or caring what is said about us. They are thinking about themselves—before breakfast, after breakfast, and right on until ten minutes past midnight. They would be a thousand times more concerned about a slight headache of their own than they would about the news of your death or mine.”

It’s harsh – but it’s true. And most of us know this, yet we still use so much of our energy worrying about what our friends might think.

I know it’s cliché, but the saying stop worrying and start living offers us so much more than it being just a silly cliché. Give that cliché some thought. Look at your own life and areas where you’ve allowed the worry of “I wonder what they might think,” to stop you from making decisions.

If I was worried about what you might think, I wouldn’t have posted this thought from my head, or the one yesterday, or the one before that, and the one before that.

What haven’t you done because you were worrying about what others might think?

83

The past few weeks had been exhausting. His son would make numerous 4-hour trips back and forth to the hospital. “This is it – he’s only got hours to live” the nurses would say. And each time, he’d prove them wrong.

But in the last week, his mind had begun to wander. He would talk to the birds in his room. He threatened to punch a male nurse in the nose if he got too close to his wife. He desperately wanted someone to turn off the running water that was being wasted. He enjoyed watching Lilly, Bridget, and Sebastien, three of his favorite dogs who were sitting quietly in the room. He would have conversations with his brother-in-law, and he would ask you to pass him his pocket-knife on the table.

Of course, all of these were figments of his imagination. There were no dogs in the room. There wasn’t a single drop of water dripping. His brother-in-law was never in the room, and his knife and watch had been left on the table back in his apartment weeks ago.

Moments and memories, from his 83 years of life, were returning and reoccurring in his mind as he lay in the dreary hospital bed. His mind was leaving before his body was ready to succumb.

But after a week of senseless babble, and just moments after his only child, who kept his dry chapped lips moist with a wet sponge and a few sips of water, a few words of sense finally came out.

He looked over at his son and asked him, “Are you OK?

Yeah, I’m OK Dad,” his son replied.

Make sure your mother’s OK,” he responded.

These would be his final words of wisdom to his son.

His eyes had barely been opened during the past few weeks; but on that final day, another mysterious event occurred.

His wife leaned over the hospital bed and put her face only inches away from his. As she stared into his eyes, eyes that had barely opened for almost seven days suddenly opened wide. It’s as if he sensed her being there. He stared back. While neither of them blinked, they stared into each other’s eyes for almost four minutes.

She whispered the trembling words, “I love you.

And he responded, “I love you too.

Hours later he quietly slipped away.

————————————————————————–

My Grandfather, Orville Willis Fleming, passed away peacefully Thursday, August 12th, at 83 years of age.

It’s funny how life works sometimes. I’ve had the absolute honor of having my Grandfather as a part of my life for almost 30 years, and yet biggest lesson he taught me about life occurred on his final day. After all that he had been through, and from somewhere deep within, he mustered up the strength to share those few last and final words with his son and wife. It’s that type of enormous strength and courage will guide me for the rest of my days.

RIP Gramps.

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What Goes Up, Must Come Down…

and what flows in, is what flows out.

The thoughts which you bring in to your life, are the thoughts that will be expressed, and most likely manifested, on the outside.

Life has a funny way of working out exactly the way you think it should.

Think you’re going through a rough patch, or experiencing a spell of bad luck, or that everyone’s out to get you. Maybe you think you’re not good enough? Or maybe you believe that you don’t have enough brains, or experience, for that job?

Is that what you think?

There’s a pretty good chance it’s true.

Your thoughts and feelings will correspond almost identically to the life you’re actually experiencing.

Or maybe…just maybe, the experiences of your real life are simply corresponding themselves to your thoughts and feelings.

On the Side

A question I’m often asked is, “How did I go from being a jobless university graduate, to an employee in the marketing field working for two great organizations, to successfully working for myself for the past five years?

The answer is simple.

Instead of waiting for the right opportunity, or the best time in my life to make a career move; or the perfect moment when all the stars aligned; or when I finally felt I had read enough books and gained enough expertise; or I had put in enough years to gain some experience for my resume; or I had saved enough money for my venture; or I had tweaked my business plan enough until it was just right…..

Instead of all that, I simply started my business on the side.

Each night, before bed, I spent a few hours laying bricks. Whenever I had some free time, instead of watching TV, I worked on my business. I started testing. I started building. I started selling.

It all happened on the side. The day my business was successfully paying me more than my day job, and I was still receiving paychecks while employed at my day job; I continued to work there, for six more months, to ensure my business had the legs it needed to stand on.

It’s almost five years later and the legs are still standing.

You could spend forever waiting for that single perfect moment when everything is just right, but that perfect moment might never come.

Or, you could do it on the side.

It’s your call.

The next time you’re driving and another car cuts you off, or you’re stuck in traffic, or you’re just about to reach the toll booth when suddenly the gate closes, or the next time you’re waiting in line someone butts in front of you, or your plane is delayed, or an accident causes an hour-long traffic jam, or your boss drops a nice little one-liner that doesn’t sit well, you’ve got to make one of life’s most important choices.

The choice basically has two options.

Choose one.

Option 1: Flip out, stress yourself out, swear, get upset, get frustrated, yell at someone, flip-em the bird, pull your hair out etc… etc…

Or,

Option 2: Realize how lucky you actually are. Realize it wasn’t you who had the car accident. Realize how lucky you are to be able to commute and travel in a car. Realize how fortunate you are to be able to afford fuel. Observe how the people behind you aren’t freaking out, they’re actually smiling.

Realize how important these small things are and how often we take them for granted.

In a nutshell, option 1 negatively impacts every single aspect of your life.

Don’t believe me?

Using option #1, on a routine basis, directly affects nearly everything you do. Compounding negative energy, even in small, tiny, minuscule, insignificant ways in your daily life, will have a profound effect on nearly every single aspect of your life – like your wealth, your karma, your success, your health, your relationships, and even how long you live.

Using option #2, each time one of these unlimited number of situations arises, I guarantee you good things will start to happen.

Ultimately, it’s your call though.

P.S. If you’ve been using option #1 for a long time, or every time life has thrown a snowball at you, you’ve got a long road ahead. You may have actually ingrained these negative habits so deeply into your brain that they’re now second nature.

I’d get busy trying to reverse that.

P.S.S. Enjoy the weekend, and use option #2 as much as possible this weekend.

Battle Scars

I’ve got a scar on my finger.

One time many years ago, while on a fishing trip with my father, I caught my index finger in the door of his Ford truck. I almost lost the top-half of my finger, but it was saved by a boatload of stitches.

I’ve got another scar on the top of my head. This accident happened at a funeral home – of all places!

These are the scars I’ve collected as I continue on my journey through life. If you happen to see them, I might be eager to tell you the story that accompanies each one. Each of my scars has a unique story.

I’ve also had a handful of business ventures that failed. I’ve got silly ideas that I’ve told people about, only to be laughed out of the room. I’ve spent both precious time and money on businesses that have fallen flat, and I’ve had jobs where I quit after only a few short hours.

That’s just a start.

When I really think about it, these mental scars are very much the same as my physical scars. Of course, physical scars can happen for a variety of reasons beyond our control. I’m talking about our battle scars.

Our scars will always be a part of us. Regardless of how serious the battle may have been, the scars are there for a reason. I’m sure, deep-down, you’ve learned something from every single scar.

I’m always a wee-bit apprehensive when I meet someone in the business world without any battle scars. The warning bells go off even louder when they try to cover them up.

Show me what you’ve got. Your battle scars are what have made you what you are today.

Let’s be realistic.

Over the past few months, I’ve been going off on a little bit of a tangent. (the blue highlighted words in this post are links to some of those past posts)

This has led to me spewing off my own optimistic ideas of the life you could live.

I believe you can do work that matters.

I believe you can create your own map.

I believe you can follow your own rules.

I believe you can reach your goals.

I believe you can do whatever you want for a living.

I believe ALL of this boils down to the choices you make.

But I need to bring myself back to reality for a minute.

This type of advice isn’t for everyone. After all, to accomplish any part of what I’ve said over the past few months, you’re going to have to get down and dirty with the lizard. You’re going to have to face your biggest fears, one after another.

And every step of the way, your very own brain will be telling you to turn around and get back to reality. Every step of the way, people will be telling you you’re acting nuts and being foolish. The people closest to you will urge you to stop with the wishy-washy dreaming. They’ll say, “shut up, put your head down, and get back to work.” What’s the big deal with giving away 30 years of your life in the bigger scheme of things?

Sheesh.

But seriously:

It’s easy for me to write about all the goodness that can come from being an optimistic person and viewing your glass has half-full.

It’s easy for me to tell you to “follow your passion” or “get rich of worms.”

It’s even easier for me to tell you that if you don’t set out to do what you were destined to do, you might end up in a lot of pain.

But here’s the thing I’ve realized. If you’ve been reading ANY of what I’ve been saying, and somewhere deep-down inside you there’s even a smidgen of something saying, “Yeah I could totally do that,” perhaps there’s a smidgen of a voice inside you telling you that you DO have enough ambition to actually light the fire.

Then maybe I’m not too far out-to-lunch.

Every single one of us has that smidgen somewhere. It may be hiding right now. It may not show itself very often, but you can be damn sure it’s there.

One of my favorite authors, Steven Pressfield, has written an amazing post on “Ambition” that inspired me to write this post and look back at my own posts over the past few months.

And he hits the nail right on the head.

An oak litters the earth with ten thousand acorns, and inside every one is the drive to grow to be as mighty as its daddy. Every lion cub, every fledging eagle carries in its DNA the will to be king of beasts and lord of the air. That’s nature’s law. Why should we humans expect to be different? ~ Steven Pressfield

That’s reality.

Overflow the cup.

Today, my wife and I had an ultrasound. And for the first time we were able to see a very clear picture of the cute little baby hanging out inside my wife.

It gave me the day to reflect on this post.

You’ve all heard the saying; the glass is half-empty or the glass is half-full. In my opinion, it’s all about the choices you make and the way you choose to perceive the glass.

For me, I always try my best to focus on the glass being half-full. But I wonder if we could do better?

After all, as gifted and as privileged as we are to live in a society and area where most of us have the ability to eat on a daily basis, drink clean water, see a movie when we want, or eat a Big Mac, almost all of us can find problems within our own lives.

We can almost always find something to complain about.

Lots of people spend all their lives focusing on the glass. For many, it’s not even half-full, the glass is nearly empty, if not bone dry.

These people are nearly always the unsuccessful people who feel they were dealt a poor hand.

And maybe they were. I’m not one to say what your glass looks like. It’s a personal choice.

The most successful people I know are the most positive. They always see the glass as half-full. The best part of this type of attitude is they approach the glass knowing that filling it to the top is within reach.

Here’s a guarantee I can make to you.

Become a half-full glass type of person. Focus on not just maintaining your half-full glass, but make the sucker overflow. Today, my glass is flooded.

I guarantee and promise you’ll see positive results.

Overflow the glass.

P.S. It’s a girl.

Even sadder

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From Hugh MacLeod of GapingVoid.com and his book Ignore Everybody

Merit can be bought. Passion can’t.

The only people who can change the world are people who want to. And not everybody does.

Human beings have this thing I call the “Pissed Off Gene”. It’s that bit of our psyche that makes us utterly dissatisfied with our lot, no matter how kindly fortune smiles upon us.

It’s there for a reason. Back in our early caveman days, being pissed off made us more likely to get off our butt, get out of the cave and into the tundra hunting wooly mammoth, so we’d have something to eat for supper. It’s a survival mechanism. Damn useful then, damn useful now.

It’s this same Pissed Off Gene that makes us want to create anything in the first place- drawings, violin sonatas, meat packing companies, websites. This same gene drove us to discover how to make a fire, the wheel, the bow and arrow, indoor plumbing, the personal computer, the list is endless.

Part of understanding the creative urge is understanding that it’s primal. Wanting to change the world is not a noble calling, it’s a primal calling.

We think we’re “providing a superior integrated logistic system” or “helping America to really taste freshness”. In fact we’re just pissed off and want to get the hell out of the cave and kill the woolly mammoth.

Your business either lets you go hunt the woolly mammoth or it doesn’t. Of course, like so many white-collar jobs these days, you might very well be offered a ton of money to sit in the corner-office cave and pretend that you’re hunting, even if you’re not, even if you’re just pushing pencils. That is sad. What’s even sadder is that you agreed to take the money.

From Hugh MacLeod of GapingVoid.com and his book Ignore Everybody

P.S. Enjoy the Weekend!



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